This isn't the way it should be, but according to sheer pragmatism, I know that if I want to get something from some man, my best opportunity is to have my wife make the phone call. At this juncture, typically a man would write, "this is going to get me in trouble." Of course, he writes that to get in less trouble than he already thinks he is getting himself into. And if I were writing about a uniquely male problem, I wouldn't be getting in trouble? Why would that be? Is female trouble worse than male trouble for men? The answer "yes" can only bounce collectively around in men's heads because it wouldn't be manly to say it.
We started getting pushed around in the Garden. Eve was going to eat. Adam in his metaphorical little Lord Fauntleroy suit silently joins. "Be a good little boy and eat this." He hearkened unto the voice of his wife. I can't say I for sure know why. It was wrong, but I think any man, who is a human being just like Adam was, understands why he folded up like a wall bed. He didn't want to have to deal with it. Deal with what? I can't say, because......"it would get me in trouble." No, I will say, because I'm not going to get in trouble for saying; I'm a man. He wanted her approval. He was afraid of how it might turn out with her if he said no. The pressure is on the man to abdicate his headship, but he isn't supposed to. God wants Him to fulfill the plan that He gave him.
If you're getting in trouble men, you are already in trouble in a worse way than the trouble you think you might be avoiding. Every man needs accountability. We need other men. We know that we're leading our wives, so we need to be good examples. The wife can help the man to do better. A major factor for English supremacy in the colonization of America was the arrival of women. Without the ladies, the men would have wasted a lot of time playing around in the woods. The French. That's what they did without women, and so they were left with only New Orleans.
Today men are to treat women as equals and yet also treat them in a gentle way. Now when women boss men around, they're strong, but when men do that to women, they're brutes. They want in, but often when they get in, if they get talked to in the same way men talk to men, they're "hurt." Then the conversation could very likely turn into this:
"You probably only talked to me that way because I'm a woman."
"No, that's how I talk to men."
"Well, you're only talking to me that way because I'm a strong woman and you don't like strong women."
"No, I'm talking to you like I do men, because that's what you said you wanted."
"So I guess you don't want me in your conversation, huh?"
"I didn't say that, and it's not that I can't handle what you've got to say, but, yes, I do wish you would leave the conversation."
"I knew it. You don't like women!"
"I do like women."
"Yeah, you like women you can push around, but you don't like it when you get a woman who will stand up to you."
"You mean, like you are standing up to me?"
"Yeah, you can't handle it."
"I'm handling it, but I'd like to enjoy it. Conversations I keep having normally are ones that I don't just put up with, but actually like."
"So you don't like talking to women?"
"I LIKE!!....talking to women. I like it. I'M JUST SAYING....that, and I think you can understand, that when I talk to men, it doesn't usually go like this."
"And so that's why you don't like talking to women."
"I think I'm going to just end this conversation. I shouldn't have gotten into it in the first place."
"I figured you would give up. You just can't take it."
Plop, plop, fizz, fizz. By this time, two men may have punched, or at least been close to physical contact. And a few minutes later been shaking hands and laughing.
In our modern conversation, men want women to know that they are welcome to the dialogue, so that the women will know that they, the men, aren't "sexist." As a result, when a woman enters the conversation, men often trip all over each other voicing how important her opinion is. She could utter three monosyllabic words to a male standing ovation. "Well put." "I liked the way you said that." And all the men around know it, but it's how the game is played. If one man decides not to play the game, and say what he really thinks, well, part of the process is that the rest of the men turn on him. This way, the men not only get to treat the woman like "one of the boys," but also get to protect her as well. Confusing, isn't it?