Wednesday, November 01, 2006

ODD OBSERVATIONS: Edition I

Costco parking. I turn into the Costco parking to attend the big box warehouse store. The entrance is 2/3 back in the lot and to the right are zero spots to park. None. To the left, the furthest 1/3, is a desert. To the right, the aisles are jammed with cars waiting for someone to finish loading. What's going on?
1. Getting closer is a matter of principle, because it doesn't make sense.
2. Getting closer is a Costco status symbol.
3. The closest spots are akin to winning the Costco lottery.
4. What is it that the heart and health experts tell us about parking remote and walking? They need to rework that advertising campaign. Any volunteers?
5. Parking left is for those with low park esteem.
6. Those on the left need an oxygen mask; they are on a different planet.
7. Fire your personal trainer and park on the left.
8. People who decide to take the binocular lot (you need binoculars to see Costco from there) walk on average faster. I watched a lady with tall boots and loud staccato-like heels pounding the blacktop attempting to make-up for lost time. She didn't want to be seen close to the socially unacceptable far lot. Trust me; it's embarrassing. She was proving that she could get to the front entrance in the same time as she would if she parked in the close lot. She's beating the system and she wants everyone to know it.
9. Don't you want to walk a distance to rid yourself of calories gained by eating 17 Costco samples inside?
10. Once someone is in Costco, are they as efficient in their shopping cart travel route as they are in finding a close parking spot? I don't think so. Will they really notice the extra 40 yards of walking after legging 2 miles down the concrete Costco aisles?
11. With gas prices so high, sitting there idle, engine running, waiting for someone to wedge in their industrial sized toilet paper pack is doing several things:
a. Contributing to fuel shortage.
b. Polluting. Cough. Cough.
c. Two words: ozone layer.
d. Blocking three other cars at idle---multiply a., b., and c. by three times and move back five spaces.
e. Three more words: Parking Lot Rage.
12. This is scientific. People who shop at Costco eat more. They need the exercise.

7 comments:

Rachman said...

Your sense of humor is fantastic. I needed a good laugh today. Great post.

Terry McGovern said...

Hey,

I would be willing to walk five miles to get to a Coscto!!

I would walk four miles just to get the food stands inside of Costco!

I would walk 1 mile just to see a parking lot!

Enjoyed the post!

Kent Brandenburg said...

Very Funny, Terry. Parking lots are underrated.

The Prophets said...

I enjoyed this Blog as well as Terry McGovern's comment.

We always park in the back 40 as far away as possible. This reduces the chance for someone who is rushing to throw their goods into the car and burn rubber out of the lot from slamming their cart or car door into the side of ours. It also reduces the risk from scratches from the dreaded zipper pull and the oversized TV box someone thinks will fit in their back seat.

Strangely enough there can be 5, 10 and sometimes 20 empty stalls near ours, but the next guy parks right next to us. This has been a topic of conversation on nearly every shopping trip we ever make. Why does this person choose to park within inches of our car?

Throwback 13 said...

* "Why does this person choose to park within inches of our car?"
* His car is lonely?
*
* Joel

Anonymous said...

...and so it is with " so much time; so little to do". It brings blogs such as this.
I park in the very back of any lot just to see how many others will follow thinking I know something they dont.

ILA

Nicholas Cardot said...

I always park as far away as possible and still be within reasonable walking distance. I don't want others to bang up my car.