The Underlying Reasons for Ghosting

Part One    Part Two    Part Three    Part Four    Part Five    Part Six    Part Seven

In my last post on the practice of ghosting, I brought in the example of Harry and Meghan, the Duke and Duchess of Sussex.  Ghosting is an extreme, unscriptural form of separation, which has been defined as "the practice of ending a personal relationship with someone by suddenly and without explanation withdrawing from all communication."  There are varied degrees of the practice, because Harry and Meghan haven't been able to totally eject from their situation.  However, from all reports, since before her marriage, she has ghosted her own father, despite his perpetually seeking a relationship with her.  It brings me to an important related point to ghosting, that is, what are the underlying reasons for it.

The ghoster says he ghosts because he's been harmed.  He had to do it and mostly for his own mental health.  Before they lost their titles the very day I write this, Harry and Meghan used this reason.  Their mental health was affected by negative press.  I've noticed that anymore anyone who claims a mental health issue has one, and that provides a reason to ghost.  He's got to ghost for his mental health.  This is also the explanation for the criminalizing of "hate speech."  Hate speech is a broadening terminology that encompasses anything that can cause psychological damage.

Millennials and their older overseers weaponize mental health as a power over others. It justifies their ghosting, which is a punishment for behavior deemed cause of mental harm.  They must do it for protection and to punish the crime.  It's a lie buttressed by a societal transformation, where lies have fed upon lies to form a new world of lies.  The mental health lie substantiates lust.  It is very similar to a lie a child tells his parents to keep listening to sinful music on his earbuds or to cover for disobedient behavior.  He wants the worldly activity and he forms the lies to exonerate himself.  He is not to blame, because he's been damaged.  People lust, don't want to stop their lust or cease making provision for it, and those who confront it, they have decided, inflict mental impairment.

The ghoster can find a paper or book, written by an expert who will agree, when mendaciously applied.  He'll find plenty of support from others already freed or desirous to be free from the protective constraints of scriptural spheres of authority.  They will gladly concede to the coveted psychiatric diagnosis to have their way, to separate themselves from the sources of disapproval of their lusts.

Since it isn't the safeguarding of mental health, what are the actual underlying reasons for ghosting?  I believe they are similar between unbelievers and the professing believers, but I'm going to address the professing believers.  I can't say believers, because what sure, true believer ghosts anyone?  It doesn't make any sense.  It seems like someone who has abandoned the faith, which is never to have it in the first place.  It's possible though, if it is a short term practice by a vexed believer.  He won't continue this way.

Not necessarily in this order, but he ghosts first, because he can't confront the truth.  He doesn't have a defense of what he's doing, so he can't face an encounter over it.  He's not doing what he does based on biblical conviction.  He didn't start by studying his Bible.  He began with lust.  Then he looked for people who would see things his way, that would help him justify what he did and does, to encourage it.  He can have only approval.  He won't get it and he can't explain from the Bible what he's doing, so he ghosts everyone who loves him and attempts to help him.

Related to number one, he's a coward.  That's two.  Ghosting is cowardice.  It isn't biblical separation,which requires real attempts at reconciliation, including mediation.  It avoids the confrontation out of fear.  Ghosters are weak.  They can't face up to legitimate criticism and then won't.  John wrote, perfect love casts out fear (1 John 4:18).  The love for God and others defeats fear.  That love isn't there.

Third is pride.  To give in to biblical teaching requires humility:  poor in Spirit, mourning, meekness, and then hunger and thirst after righteousness.  The ghoster is a lover of his own self.  He seeketh his own.  He looks on his own things more than the things of others.

Fourth is love for the world.  The ghoster is going out from, because he doesn't belong in a pure church.  Among other things, it is likely the music, dress, entertainment, recreation, lifestyle, and popularity of the world.  He is a friend of the world.  He is a Demas, who loves this present world (2 Timothy 4:10).  He is not looking for the glorious appearing of the Lord Jesus Christ, because he will not deny worldly lust (Titus 2:8-9).

Fifth is idolatry.  Paul says in Colossians 3:5 that covetousness is idolatry.  He can't give up his own way, which is an idol.  This then looks like inordinate affection and sensual longing, what the KJV calls "evil concupiscence."

Sixth, he doesn't want a boss.  He wants only himself in charge.  He doesn't like to do what he's told.  Ghosting gets him out of distance where he would hear from anything authoritative.  He doesn't want to be told what to do.  In 2 Peter 2:1, this is denying the Lord, who bought him.  Most of the time, he doesn't even want suggestions, let alone commands.

Seventh, he is influenced or overcome by deceit and vain philosophy.  Paul commanded to beware of these two (Colossians 2:8).  Paul writes about evil speeches or communications corrupting good behavior (1 Corinthians 15:33).  The ghoster has bought into the lies of the philosophies of this world, even so-called science, which isn't science (1 Timothy 6:20).

Eighth, he disrespects authority.  God rules according to a divinely ordained hierarchy through the family, the church, and government.  This person thinks he is a free agent, who doesn't need to fit into those anymore.  Paul called this 'thinking more highly of yourself than you ought to think' (Romans 12:3).

I'm sure there are more than eight true underlying reasons for ghosting, but one of them is not to protect mental health.  Neither is it an advanced view of grace and liberty.  Without repentance, the reasons for ghosting are the same qualities and characteristics of an unbeliever or an apostate.