For Crying Out Loud

Sticks and stones may not work, but tears, well, two words: very effective. Headline: Democrats Fold Up Tent in Supreme Court Hearings When Mrs. Alito Cries. You made her cry Senator Kennedy, move back three spaces. We can all at least be happy he didn't have her ride over the Chappaquiddick bridge with him. Game over. Does pancake make-up run? I'm just thinking about the advantage of any one of them crying strategically to offset the Alito tears--pale streaks of real skin showing up behind brown base and rosy rouge, the wet rivulets glistening under the television lights.

I tell myself that everyone, like me, knows that this is a fraud, at best a grand gotcha game--a man guilty of known manslaughter, probably worse, and I think you might agree that drowning a woman is the worst form of male chauvenism and definitely violates her civil rights and the bill of rights. One could argue, I guess, that under the fourteenth amendment she was denying him the right to privacy. And the sun was in his eyes. And, and, and. Stop. I'll cry. We can't really judge him though because he's had it rough. He gets the gold guilded life-time get-out-of-jail-free card. Oh, and the Massachusetts cereal box life's term in the Senate prize. And a secret decoder ring. On the other hand, Judge Alito joined a club while he was in college in 1972 that he can't remember joining, but that he used as a reference on a 1985 application to get a job as a lawyer in the Reagan administration. He doesn't remember the organization, but if he did remember it, he figures that he joined it to protest Princeton's ejection of the ROTC program from the campus, but he doesn't remember. Did I say he didn't remember? In the gotcha game, he just couldn't remember. If he remembered, then he would be instantly smeared as a racist, bigot, homophobe, amoeba, pond scum, trailer trash, and bed-wetter. And deservedly so because someone he has never met and doesn't know had written a parapraph in the organizational publication that said nobody ought to get preferences. Nobody! It even mentioned a few of the ones that were getting the preferences by name. This man (person) named groups that shouldn't get preferences. No, people named Kennedy wasn't one of them! For Crying out Loud!!!!